On January 30, 1835, President Andrew Jackson found himself at the center of what might be the most comical assassination attempt in American history. As Jackson was leaving a funeral (because apparently, even funerals weren’t safe back then), a man named Richard Lawrence jumped out and shot at the president, about to change history, but…the gun misfired. Thinking, "Well, that was embarrassing," Lawrence pulled out a second pistol and tried again. That’s right. This man brought a backup! But guess what? It also misfired… At this point, Jackson—who was in his late 60s around this time—took matters into his own hands. He charged at Lawrence and started beating him with his cane!

Lawrence, who believed he was the rightful King of England, was quickly tackled and arrested. Meanwhile, tests later revealed that both of his pistols had a rare double misfire—something with odds estimated at 125,000 to 1. If you’re an assassin, those are not great betting numbers. But Andrew Jackson wasn’t exactly known for his good luck either—this is the guy who fought in 100 duels, got shot multiple times, and still kept going. Some say he believed in destiny, while others argue he just refused to let anything, including bullets, slow him down.

After the attack, Jackson became even more convinced that his political enemies were out to get him. Conspiracy theories swirled, and Jackson doubled down on his already intense personality. Meanwhile, Richard Lawrence was declared insane and spent the rest of his life in a mental institution—presumably still telling anyone who would listen that he was British royalty. As for Jackson, the failed assassination only added to his legendary status. He survived the attack, got even angrier, and went right back to running the country like the tough, stubborn, cane-swinging president he was.

On January 30, 1948, the world lost one of its most influential leaders when Mahatma Gandhi was assassinated in New Delhi. After leading India to independence through nonviolent resistance, Gandhi had become a global symbol of peace. But not everyone was a fan of his message. This is where we meet Nathuram Godse, a radical who believed Gandhi was too soft for uniting Hindus and Muslims. As Gandhi walked to a prayer meeting, Godse stepped forward, bowed, and then shot him three times at point-blank range. Gandhi’s final words? “Hey Ram,” which translates to “Oh Ram” in English. This is a Hindi phrase invoking Lord Rama, a major deity in Hinduism. There’s been historical debate about whether these were truly his last words, but they have become deeply associated with his legacy - a simple yet profound acknowledgment of his faith.

Gandhi’s assassination sent shockwaves through India and the world. This was a man who had taken on the British Empire with salt marches and hunger strikes, only to be taken down by one of his own countrymen. It was a tragic irony—Gandhi preached unity, yet his death highlighted the deep divisions still brewing in India. His funeral drew millions of people, and his legacy only grew stronger. While Godse and his co-conspirators were arrested and later executed, Gandhi’s message of peace refused to die. If anything, his assassination cemented his status as a martyr, proving that ideas can be bulletproof, even when people aren’t.

Decades later, Gandhi remains one of history’s most enduring figures, his face is printed on Indian currency, and his name is synonymous with peaceful protest. His influence stretched far beyond India, inspiring leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela. Sure, modern India has its fair share of debates about what Gandhi’s ideals mean today, but one thing is certain—he changed the world with nothing but sheer willpower and a pair of round glasses.

Roman Toothpaste🐭
Romans were ahead of their time in many ways—roads, aqueducts, and, apparently, dental hygiene. But their toothpaste? Let’s just say you wouldn’t find it at Walmart. Some records suggest they used crushed bones, oyster shells, and even mouse brains to keep their teeth clean. Whether this actually worked or just gave them a weird taste in their mouths is up for debate. But one thing’s for sure, we should be VERY grateful for modern chemistry.

Operation Rubber🤰
During the Cold War, the CIA got... creative. One of their lesser-known psychological tactics? Dropping oversized condoms labeled as “Medium” into Soviet territory. The goal? To mess with Soviet soldiers’ morale by making them believe American men were ridiculously well-endowed. Yes, really. The idea was that Soviet troops, upon finding these gigantic “standard-issue” items, would feel demoralized and question their own nation’s strength.

Divine Chocolate 🍫
Long before it became a guilty pleasure, chocolate was literally divine. The Aztecs believed cacao was a sacred gift from the god Quetzalcoatl, who according to legend brought it from paradise to share with humans. Instead of candy bars and truffles, they drank it as a bitter, spiced beverage—often reserved for warriors, nobles, and priests. They even used cacao beans as a form of currency, proving that money kind of did grow on trees.

Greek Vending Machine 💧
Long before vending machines spat out Funyuns and cokes, the Greeks had one specifically for holy water. Around the 1st century AD, the engineer Hero of Alexandria invented a coin-operated device that dispensed water in temples. Worshippers would drop in a coin that triggered a lever, allowing a certain amount of sacred water to flow out—no unlimited refills here.

If you enjoy this edition of Today In History be sure to send it to a friend and force them to sign up because that’s what good friends do. Until next time, stay curious, question everything, and keep uncovering the mysteries of the past. - Zach⛺️